I Knew Her When She Was Only Sick, My Greatest Regret

picture of a girl

It was raining outside. When I entered the room and tried to wipe my feet on the foot mat they sunk down, the mat was soaked. Someone must have left it outside or something. Either way I was annoyed. I would leave footprints now and everyone would think I was disrespectful. But no one noticed. Everyone was very upset.

I hated being in this room. What I hated even more was that no one agreed to come with me. They all had things to do or were going at later times. So I had to go by myself. It was awkward being there.

I searched frantically to try and recognize someone anyone but it was all just family members and I didn't know any of them. I told her mother that I knew her from school and that she was a great person. She hugged me and said thanks.

I knew her when she was only sick. But I didn't tell her mother that. I knew her when she didn't know about her illness, although I'm doubtful she actually ever found out.

I don't know why I didn't tell her that she was sick. I had such a fragile relationship with her - I guess I didn't want to spoil it. We had one or two classes together; I don't remember because it was so long ago. But I thought she was great. I don't know what happened but our friendship slowly decayed. We started out as friends but grew somewhat distant by the end of the year. Not because of her; only because of her illness.

I had the cure too! I had it the whole time. I might have been the only one in the entire school with it. In fact I think I'm the only one in the whole school who even knew she was sick. The sickness is sin and the only cure is the love and blood of the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. I knew it the whole time. I knew and didn't say anything. Now it's too late. I can't say anything to her now because now she can't hear.

Her parents are sick. Her sisters are sick. They don't know it but I do. But now is not the right time to tell them. I'm not sure when that time will be. Perhaps it will never come and I will relive this day again.

I stare at her. I tell myself it wouldn't have mattered, it wouldn't changed anything, she wouldn't have listened, she wouldn't have believed, she wouldn't have cared, it would not have made a difference.

…It wouldn't have mattered…That's what I tell myself…But I'm not sure if I believe it or not.

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ; for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth."

Was I ashamed?

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